Welcome to the first three-part series of our blog! This month we are focused on “Life Management” and some tools that may be helpful for those of you who are struggling with organizing all the parts of your life. For artists this can seem like a never ending battle especially when it comes to practice & performance in the age of COVID-19. Currently, as I type I’m sitting in my temporary office (which is my husband's mancave) with a handwritten calendar and my google calendar up on my computer. I typically take 20-30 minutes daily to go through the schedule and make sure I'm prepared for the day, the only problem? I never plan for the lull that usually hits around 3:00 pm and wipes out most of my energy, costing me several hours of coveted work time. Now, before I dive into this discussion of "Life Management", I'd like to preface that I'm generally an organized individual. I'm not super, crazy organized but I have a level of organization to get through the day/week, as well as accomplish all my tasks, and I need it, I have a lot going on (as I'm sure we all do) I got a kid at home, I'm a full-time homemaker and part-time everything else so staying organized keeps me focused, but does it help me manage my life?
Over the last 10 months, I've had to change a lot about the way I do just about anything, which meant that my wonderful colleagues were indirectly affected because they had to change how they work with me. In some ways, this was almost unfair because they did not have a chance to prepare as I didn't realize so much would change in terms of my work. Tasks I would usually complete same-day now requires at least 3 days, practicing can only be done when the baby is awake and his dad is home, COVID-19 means I'M NOT LEAVING MY HOUSE unless I have to. So how do I find a balance that isn't focused so much on the concept of time?
I'm not a life coach or anything fancy like that, I'm merely writing from my own experiences in recent months. As a mom, I let go of this concept of scheduling my day through the construct of time. Honestly, it was too limited, I didn't feel like I was living and enjoying my life because I was always thinking about the clock and when I needed to do the next task. So, I adapted a "schedule" that helps me prioritize my day using three categories (this may be different for others)
#1: Things I have to do as a mom i.e. keep my kid alive/family time/etc.
#2: Things I have to do around my home i.e. chores /work (usually with some side-eye)
#3: Things I want to do i.e. practice/read/arrange music
If I were to squeeze every task from each category into 24 hours, I would never sleep! So I follow a ratio of 80%, 15%, 5%. Does this look balanced to you? Before you answer that, let's take a minute to consider this concept of balance.
Through our societal foundations, we believe that balance should always be equal 50/50 and this may be true if we are talking about science, but life isn't an exact science. It is unexpected and unplanned no matter how hard you try to control it, you can't all the time, so why do we hold ourselves to this expectation? Based on this theory, if you work 40 hours a week, you need to find 40 hours a week for everything else in your life (although I think we should all work a little less, with equal and fair pay) Balance does not have to mean equal, this is a fallacy. This is where we all start to get overwhelmed with trying to organize ourselves, especially as we get older and take on more responsibility.
So how do you manage your life? I wish I had all the answers to this question, but friend, I can not tell you how to live your life, I can only offer some tips so here it goes.
When it comes to your personal life (which could be all things not work, or all aspects of your life including work) ditch the construct of time when applicable. Remember, we live in a society that moves to the tune of this concept, so even though you may want to ditch it completely, everyone else may not be on board with that. Allow yourself some flexibility. If you have a free afternoon, jot down a few things you'd like to do, but if you don't get to it, it's ok, maybe your body was telling you it needed to rest, and that is perfectly alright. Bring others along, often we don't communicate how we prioritize our day or our needs to accomplish tasks. I have become more upfront about this in recent months to set a realistic goal for all involved. Lastly, balance and equal are not synonymous. There is enough time for work, play, and self-care. You may have to prioritize the importance of each, but you can have all three. Give yourself some time to adjust, remember this took me several months to figure out once I realized everything didn’t have to have the same allotment of time.
There is no one way to accomplish this and you may have to change your strategy as your life changes. Recognizing what is important to your life everyday can be empowering and therapeutic as we can lose sight of this with the hustle and bustle of living. Trust your instincts, give yourself a little patience, and remember “The ideal structure is one that remains so”
~Seychelle Corbin
